IFS is a therapeutic approach designed to help people explore and heal their internal emotional landscape. It has been shown to be effective for many difficulties such as trauma, complex trauma, anxiety and depression.
What is Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy?
Many people carry shame about past actions or feel broken, worthless or inadequate in some way. But what if I told you that, at your core,you are inherently good, kind, and loving? What if I told you that there is nothing fundamentally wrong with you? Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy helps people explore and heal their internal emotional landscape. Developed by Dr Richard Schwartz in the 1980s, IFS views each person as a system of inner parts, both protective and wounded, guided by a core Self. It embraces the idea that the mind is naturally made up of multiple parts, and this multiplicity is beneficial. Much like family members, these inner parts are often pushed into extreme roles, but they each have inherent value. The core Self is present in everyone and it is always there no matter what. The core self also remains undamaged and holds the wisdom to heal and restore balance.
Though this concept might seem unusual at first, we already refer to our different parts in daily life. For example if your boss asks you to do something at work we may say to ourselves: “Part of me wants to, but part of me doesn’t because I’m too busy.” IFS sees these parts as real, with their own thoughts and feelings, and they often relate to one another in protective or oppositional ways.
The Core Concept of IFS
IFS argues that there are no ‘bad’ parts and that the goal is not to eliminate parts but instead to help them take on the roles they would like and giving more space for your core Self which lies at the centre of your internal system.
Consider the critical voice in your head—the one that berates you for mistakes or perceived flaws. That too is one of your parts. According to IFS, each of these parts has its own experiences, feelings, and intentions. When one"blends" with you, it can feel like it defines who you are in that moment. For instance, if you’re angry, it may seem like you’re entirely consumed by anger. Later, when you’re sad, you might feel that sadness has overtaken you. IFS suggests that these emotions are just parts of you—because you are neither sad nor angry all the time. What remains constant, especially when you’re calm and safe, is your core Self. Listening to your parts and getting to know them can be a first step to getting better. With time you would also show all your parts love and compassion from your core Self.
Key Types of Parts in IFS
Core Self
This is distinct from the parts and contains your inherent qualities of consciousness, compassion, curiosity, calmness, confidence, connectedness, wisdom, creativity, and courage.
Managers (a proactive protector part)
These parts manage your daily life, working to maintain balance within your internal system. They strive to keep you in control of relationships and situations to prevent the painful emotions of the exiles—such as shame, fear,or rejection—from surfacing and overwhelming you. This may look like a critical inner voice to keep you in line, people pleasing, achieving/striving or avoiding risks.
Firefighters (a reactive protector part)
The main goal of these parts is to shield you from the exiles by distracting you or pushing away their painful emotions. Firefighters step in when exiles are triggered, using distraction or dissociation to prevent emotional overwhelm or flooding within the inner system.
Exiles (vulnerable part)
These parts hold painful memories and emotions that have been pushed away,often to protect us from overwhelming feelings like shame or fear. Exiled parts are often young parts that may have experienced trauma and other overwhelming experiences. They also hold extreme feelings and/or beliefs that become isolated from the rest of the inner system (such as “I’m worthless”).
How Does IFS Work?
IFS therapy aims to help individuals connect with their core Self and engage with their parts in a nonjudgmental way. By understanding,unburdening and accepting each part, individuals can heal their exiles and help their managers and firefighters find new, healthier roles.
IFS offers a unique way to explore inner conflicts, trauma, and self-destructive patterns without pathologising any part of the person.Instead, it fosters self-understanding and internal harmony. This model is especially useful for individuals dealing with trauma, anxiety or depression, as it promotes a compassionate and integrated approach to healing.
In short, IFS helps us understand that all parts of ourselves—no matter how difficult—are worthy of compassion and can contribute to our well-being when integrated with the guidance of the Self.
Internal Family Systems Therapist in Hertford
Dr. Maria Tucknott, is a Private Clinical Psychologist and EMDR Europe Accredited Practitioner. Whether you're dealing with chronic anxiety, depression, or interpersonal challenges rooted in early experiences, IFS informed therapy* in Hertford can help.
Please do not hesitate to reach out and contact me today to arrange your free initial consultation.