Why isn't EMDR working for you?

Have you ever wondered why EMDR therapy isn't working for you or why it's taking so long? In my blog, I explain the reasons behind a slower-than-expected EMDR journey.

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1) Your therapist might lack adequate training or skills in EMDR.
2) You may not have spent enough time preparing for EMDR therapy.
3) The therapist may not have chosen the right target memory.
4) You may not trust or feel safe with your EMDR therapist.
5) You have an unidentified blocking belief getting in the way
6) You may have unrealistic expectations about EMDR therapy.
7) You could have unresolved complex trauma.
8) Individual differences in processing and response.

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Let’s talk about each of these in more detail:

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1) Your therapist might lack adequate training or skills in EMDR.

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EMDR requires a high level of skill and those who want to train in EMDR must have a mental health background and be registered with a professional body such as the HCPC or the BABCP (see here for a full list). Following training, therapists should have ongoing supervision and training. Some EMDR therapists, like Dr Maria Tucknott, are accredited by EMDR Association UK which means they demonstrate a high level of clinical knowledge, expertise and experience.

If your therapist lacks the necessary training and skills then EMDR is unlikely to work. It’s important that you check whether your chosen therapist holds the appropriate qualifications and training.

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2) You may not have spent enough time preparing for EMDR therapy.

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Before starting EMDR, it’s important that you understand exactly what EMDR is so that when you are actively processing difficult memories, you understand what you are doing and why.

EMDR therapy can trigger intense emotions. Without effective resourcing and self-soothing techniques, you may feel overwhelmed and shut down which means it’s virtually impossible to engage with EMDR and process your trauma memories meaningfully. Your therapist should spend some time developing and building your resourcing and coping skills so that you can tolerate the intense emotions which may arise and remain within your ability to cope. It’s important to mention that everyone is different and some only need a few resourcing sessions whereas others need much longer (i.e. weeks or months).

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3) The therapist may not have chosen the right target memory.

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Trauma is peculiar. Often, the real source of our distress is buried deep in our past, and it might not seem directly related to what we think is bothering us. Our brains are intricate networks of memories, and sometimes things become interconnected in ways we don't yet understand.

Despite starting with a memory that seems right, sometimes what is needed is to “floatback” to an even earlier memory that’s related to the thing you sought therapy for. This earlier memory often underpins whatever is going on for you right now. This is where the skill and expertise of your EMDR therapist comes in because it is their job, not yours, to work with you and identify this earlier memory as and when required.

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4) You may not trust or feel safe with your EMDR therapist.

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The rapport between you and your chosen therapist is crucial. If you don’t feel comfortable or safe with your therapist, EMDR simply won’t work. It is ok to find a new therapist if this happens because the therapeutic relationship is key to healing.

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5) You have an unidentified blocking belief getting in the way

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Some people hold intense beliefs about themselves which can slow down or stop EMDR processing. In EMDR they are called “blocking beliefs” and it’s important to spend some time exploring these and making sense of the purpose they may serve. For example, if you hold the blocking belief “I don’t want to think about this problem anymore” then it will be difficult to connect with and stay with a traumatic memory. By reframing this belief as a part that is simply trying to protect you from further emotional anguish, then it’s possible to tread more gently so that EMDR processing can continue.

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6) You may have unrealistic expectations about EMDR therapy.

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EMDR has the potential to work very rapidly, and it can feel frustrating when things are not improving quickly enough. However, like many types of psychotherapy, EMDR may take time before results are felt, especially if you have complex trauma or ongoing life events which are challenging. If this sounds like you, talk to your EMDR therapist and let the impatient part of you know that change can occur in time with patience and perseverance.

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7) You could have unresolved complex trauma.

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It can take a long time to heal from complex trauma and in my experience, EMDR does not work very well as a standalone treatment for complex trauma. EMDR usually needs to be integrated with other therapeutic modalities and applied a little differently so that the wounded child within can be healed (i.e. Attachment-Focused EMDR)
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If you have complex trauma and want to try EMDR, be sure to carefully select your therapist who has experience in this area.

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8) Individual differences in processing and response.

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Everyone responds differently to various therapies. What works for one person might not work for another and it may be that EMDR therapy simply isn’t a good fit for you at the current time.

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If EMDR isn't working for you, consider the following steps

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1) Discuss your concerns and experiences with your current EMDR therapist. They may adjust the treatment plan or integrate other therapeutic approaches.

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2) Sometimes, a different therapist with more experience or a different approach can make a difference.
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3) You may want to try a completely different therapeutic approach altogether. Other approaches for trauma include Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) and Compassion Focused Therapy for Trauma.
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Talking Therapy and Counselling in Hertford

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Dr Maria Tucknott is a Private Clinical Psychologist and EMDR Europe Accredited Practitioner. Her and her team of independent psychologists offer EMDR Therapy face to face and online. If you would like to explore whether EMDR therapy in Hertfordshire can help, then get in touch today and book an appointment.

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